Ethereal Beauty:

Oh Lord it hurts.

I was happy yesterday. So happy for one of my besties. Lovely girl with a rocking personality but not seen for who she is, but what she looked like. I was glad that someone finally noticed her glowing character, the amazing individuality, and her distinct personality. Glad that a decent one came along, not just for a mindless fling or meaningless passage of time but for a very real relationship, one that looked out for the future. Glad that he decided to see her for whom she is and appreciated the wealth of inner beauty that she possessed.

I always found her gorgeous. I thought she was so beautiful even with all her insecurities and her worries. She was funny, ridiculously funny, witty and sarcastic. So smart and intelligent that guys cowered when she took the stage. Her sheer presence was intimidating; she radiated authority, confidence, and absolute presence of mind.  We used to crib together about how people never wanted to look beneath the surface. We imagined together a lonely future, it was hard to believe anyone who would bother to stop and take a look at us, we were so used to being passed by. We high-fived each other saying that instead of being forever alone at least we could be together alone. Two crazy girls consoling each other knowing that we both were awesome but also hopeless for the future.

I wonder why it took so long for someone to notice what I had always seen. She was gorgeous to me inside out.

The problem with love these days is that society has taught the human race to stare at people with their eyes rather than their souls. Profound words by Christopher Poindexter that speaks to my heart.

So glad that she has finally found someone.

Why does my heart hurt this way I wonder. When I see the wealth of beauty hiding beneath people still out there, people who are regularly unnoticed and passed by just because their looks do not measure up to society’s skewed perception of beauty. My father always used to tell me that beauty is skin deep and I used to laugh thinking, yeah well tell society that.

It took me forever to accept myself. Forever to realize that who I am is not determined by what I look like, but by the strength of my character. Forever to realize that I don’t need the validation of a male counterpart when I already had the seal of approval from God. God does not make defective products.

Forever to realize that inner beauty radiates all the way to the outside but a lacking character can marr even great external beauty.

I have no illusions about my appearance. Maybe I’ll never find the one willing to look past it all but it’s no longer exhausting to love myself.

“I will love you, not starting with your skin or your organs or your bones; I will love madly first, your naked soul” – Christopher Poindexter

You are beautiful. Ethereally so. Not your face or your body, but your naked soul.