Alone in a crowd:

That's right. I'm an introvert. A hard core introvert. I prefer reading to watching a movie, I prefer a few close friends instead of an enormous group, I prefer staying home and just talking late into the night instead of going out or partying. And I love this aspect of my personality, I love being an introvert.

I've never wished I was an extrovert. To me the life of an extrovert seemed strangely flashy and empty. Being an introvert I always felt gave me the opportunity to build deeper, intimate, long lasting connections with people rather than a wide range of acquaintances who wouldn't give a whit about you if you disappeared.

However even among introverts I'm a little special. I'm some sort of a super introvert. I can sit in silence for hours. I enjoy my own company so much its almost unnatural, my brain is my best friend. I spend ages thinking about any topic that seizes my fancy and when I've thought all I can about it I move on to the next. There's nothing I enjoy more than thinking.

This means though that ordinary people rarely understand my thought process and even find it a little weird. There are a measly few people like me who can actually resonate with me and find that connection. Measly few who enjoy over-thinking as much as I do.

The relationship between St Francis and Claire has often been mistaken as romantic affection yet it runs way beyond that. What struck Claire like a bolt of lightning when she saw Francis was the similarity. For the first time as she saw him preach she realized that she had met someone who's love for God mirrored her love for God. She was so used to being alone, she never felt like anyone ever understood the extent of her longing and desire for God and when she met Francis she finally saw in him someone who matched her desire. And the connection between these two resonated deep and struck a wonderful chord somewhere in the universe. This was no childish fancy, no teenage romance. It was something much more than romance, an understanding so deep that from it emanated the purest form of love. It was a marriage of mind and soul, something that transcended mere physical intimacy.

I've always been alone in a crowd. The few times I've tried to explain myself to people who I thought were like minded ended in abject failure. I'm yet to meet that one person who would completely understand and appreciate the way I think and the person I am. I'm one half of a pair and I feel incomplete.

The longing to be understood and seen for the person I am in entirety is so deep that it overwhelms me.

I wonder what would happen when I finally meet him. I imagine that when we meet time would stand still and somewhere in the universe a wonderful chord will be struck. And it will seem as if we've known each other forever. intimate friends whose love transcends a single lifetime.

Hey, a girl can dream. I'm a princess of the Almighty why should I settle for anything less?