Theater:

Every movie has a set of characters. We have the protagonist whose life and struggles we focus on, whose choices create the central conflicts within the movie. The lead always has a loyal, unswerving sidekick, the kind of best friend we'd all die for. We have the romantic interest who brings a little more drama to the story. Then we have the antagonists who are actively plotting the downfall of the main character. There are some mindless characters provided for comic relief, however they are rarely memorable. There are the characters that are important to the protagonist, so integral to his life but in the end they disappoint him by never coming through in times of need, by missing the climax altogether. Then there are the scene-stealers who are absent for the most part of the movie but show up in a pivotal moment and steal the show. Last and definitely the least are the extras who act as the crowd who are neither focused on and are alas forgotten.

In this drama called life in which I thought I was the protagonist you can observe all these characters. There were people who I was excessively focused on, people who my life revolved around the whole time. And I expected their life to revolve around me as well. However they surprised me by not being there during extreme circumstances when I was taxed to the limit. This forced me to reorder priorities and learn how to handle things on my own instead of waiting for people to help. It propelled me into action. It taught me that I probably give undue importance where it is not necessary and tend to ignore people who really want and deserve my attention but never receive it.

There was an antagonist and man was he powerful. He was a masterful strategist. He was so cunning, he messed with my mind, and drowned me in negativity. He made me see everyone as my enemy. He had such a strong hold over me but I never realized that he was there. If I had maybe I could have thwarted his attempts to unsettle me. Ephesians 6:12 says that we battle with spirits. What an epic battle. I was swept off my feet.

There was a sweet romantic interest. Completely one sided from me of course. But it was so beautiful and romantic. I started feeling hopeful about love again. We had some few magical moments every year, days spent together when the facade would drop, and we were completely ourselves without the masks, the attitude, the barriers/paradigms. When we felt this perfect resonance and harmony and we were so in tune with each other's thoughts. When we sat in amiable silence next to each other just enjoying the other's presence. And for those few days I felt so needed and so loved. But reality taps at my shoulder. The dream has ended, I must wake .

There were quite a few scene stealers. An unexpected friend who jumped into my life out of nowhere and wow what a perfect match for me. I felt like finally I had met someone who could understand my weird thought processes and who enjoyed over-thinking. And it was a much needed female presence that I desperately lacked. I enjoyed arguing about doubts and exploring my faith together with her. I grew holier in prayer and with little snippets of encouragement. It was a connection I had never had and one I will treasure all my life. Another amazing friend who I had barely noticed until now was such a savior. He helped me mend a broken friendship, one that I thought I had lost for good. He constantly looked out for me so tenderly. And of course my favorite, solid friend who's so constantly reliable by always being there no matter what. Even though we don't share the same wavelength and probably never will nevertheless, this guy is too amazing.

And of course the best friend worth dying for. Except He died for me first.

It was sobering to realize that even though I thought I was one of the main characters in the lives of people who were terribly important to me, I was just another comic relief character or worse a faceless extra. The knowledge was revealing, and sometimes saddening. Maybe I had asserted too much importance to myself. And maybe this had caused  me to have unreasonable expectations from them when I was not important to them from the beginning. Truth does hurt, but it sheds light and creates self awareness which is instrumental for growth.

All the world is a stage and men, merely players.