Hubris:

Hubris. The Greek word for deadly pride. It refers to the belief that things would be done much better if you were in charge. And its my fatal flaw. It always has been.

Everyone's a critic. I'm no exception. Specially when it comes to ministry I find that I get excessively critical and I have always thought that it stemmed from a genuine desire to do good. And it does in part but it also stems from a sense of self righteousness. Pride in my own abilities and the misguided belief that everyone is wrong and I am right.

I wonder if I was actually right this time. Whether what I'm saying for the good of the ministry is really necessary for the ministry. Or is it the ego of being part of it for five years that makes me think I'm in a position to change things when its not done to my liking. I don't know.

If this is pride Lord, show me that it is my pride. Kill my pride and make me humble.

God is so funny sometimes. He does things and I have no idea what He's doing and why and after years I see that everything was part of a grand scheme. Every event that happened was one move of a master strategy that spans my whole life. And I have no idea what's happening when its happening but like a chess Grandmaster he has already planned 20 moves in advance. And when I see segments of His plan I am in awe of his brilliance.

I saw a part of His master plan yesterday. Like a completed puzzle a few things that happened for 2 years clicked in and suddenly made sense. He has such a roundabout way of making me do things I don't want to. But He always right.

And I am delighted. Like a child watching a magic trick unfold. Like watching a Christopher Nolan movie. I always felt like He was laughing at me when things were happening but now I am laughing with him. You are truly funny Lord.