Veritas:

“You look so pretty today.”        

Outwardly she smiled. The smile didn't reach her eyes. Inwardly she discarded the compliment. It was difficult to judge if it was genuine praise or empty flattery. Too much trouble. Easier to not take it into account at all.

She was wary of compliments.

All throughout the day flattery came in from every direction.

“You are so smart.”

“You speak so well.”

“I love reading your blog.”

She smiled gracefully at all of them while mentally casting off the comments. Once in a while she could make out when a genuine compliment was being paid and she accepted it warmly. The moment of honest appreciation.

The others were as insignificant as chirping crickets.

White lies were harmless she had been told. A simple lie to make someone else feel better. To tell someone what they want to hear. I win some, you win some and we’re all happy right?

Wrong.

Compliments and appreciation were now meaningless. How would she know if someone meant what they said or if it was just a bid to make her feel better? White lies had slowly made its way into every social conversation making it impossible to distinguish the truth. Pleasantries to make oneself likable. Praise poured out from their lips while their hearts harbored envy and resentment.

When someone appreciated her now she was instantly suspicious about their intentions.

After all she had told white lies before to make others feel better. She had piled on the empty flattery. She had buttered people up to put them in their comfort zone and boosted their ego when she needed to get some things done. And people had believed her.

She had done it so many times. Why wouldn't others?

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Veritas is Latin for truth. Something that you rarely see nowadays. Truth is elusive indeed.

In a movie that I had watched recently a character mentions that he speaks the truth only 90% of the time. Telling the truth all the time was neither the smartest not the safest approach. Apparently sometimes people want to be lied to.

I dispute the veracity of that claim. After all doubting is in my blood. I find it hard to accept things I haven’t tried out for myself.

Fake personas have always bothered me. Pretending to like others when they actually can’t stand them. False words and emotions in social situations. Little white lies inserted here and there to impress and increase one’s own worth. False humility.

And the worst of all feigned goodness and holiness.

I yearn to see transparency in the people around me.

If you don’t like a person don’t make them feel like they are one among your favorite people. If you are upset don’t pretend like your life is a bed of roses. If you aren't particularly impressed with someone don’t spit out empty praise. If you’re frustrated or dissatisfied, voice it out instead of internalizing it. If you’re not very holy, don’t pretend to be.

If you can’t trust someone, tell them that you can’t.

Let your flaws be out there for everyone to see. Let people see you for who you really are and love you for it. Let people know the flaws in your character so that they can correct you and you can become a better person.

Because no matter how good you are at lying it won’t last. Eventually every pretense will fall apart and every lie will be revealed.

Every liar fears being lied to. Every liar cannot trust others and is suspicious of those around them. Because they have done it themselves. We hate certain things in others because we see the same things in ourselves.

A truthful person has nothing to fear. They don’t have to keep track of all the lies that they told, all the facades they held up, all the simmering resentment that could come bursting out anytime for the whole world to see.

Truth is harsh by nature. But you need not be brutally honest. You could always speak the truth with love while genuinely wishing the good of the other from your heart.

It won’t make you very popular but people will respect you for it. Most of all you can be assured that your character will help you find genuine, honest friends who will tell you what they feel about you. And I’ll take brutal truth over sweet lies any day.

I can honestly say that I haven’t been a genuine person all the time. I've done my share of dishonesty.

But I’m sick of lying. And I’m sick of the synthetic emotions, words, and expressions I see around me. Tired of the deceit concealed by wide smiles and the judgments concealed by silence.

I can’t change others but I can change myself. I must become the change that I want to see.

Imagine a world in which no one told lies. How honest and beautiful would be our interactions, how genuine our friendships, how much we would grow when our flaws were pointed out to us, how much more we could love and trust people around us.

Every advent I try something special. This advent I’m going to strive to be truthful. Not 90% of the time but 100% of the time. I want to challenge myself. After all we are called to be truthful.

I want to see if by changing myself I can see a change around me.

I’m up for the truth challenge. Are you?