Camaraderie:

He stood awkwardly near the two friends. Their closeness so apparent, the depth of their friendship undeniable. Both were known for being best friends, they went everywhere with each other, spent practically every living moment together. Regardless of which public or social setting they were in both friends always sought out the other and never left each other's side. They blocked out the world and stay put in their little bubble of friendship.

Which was fine of course. But as he stood near them he felt awkward and a little left out. It never felt like he was approaching a single person but a gang of two every time. As they shared their little inside jokes with each other, smirking at meanings and allusions only they would understand, he slipped away quietly. His presence went unnoticed by the two best friends who were too busy basking in the moment of camaraderie.

They just needed each other. Anyone who intruded felt like an outsider. Neither did either party try to step out and invite in other people on their own. Two peas in a pod, joined at the hip, inseparable.

Friendship was a gift, he thought to himself. True friendship was so rare, so wonderful, so beautiful. Their friendship was admirable, he tried to convince himself. Admirable that they were so close.

He was lying to himself again.

That friendship didn't feel wonderful to him. He never looked at them and felt happy thinking what great friends they were. It was a relationship that was exclusive rather than inclusive. The kind of relationship that somehow made others feel lonely and left out. That made bystanders feel like they didn't belong to this little clique.

It didn't seem like a healthy friendship. The kind that would help each other learn and grow. They trusted each other so wholly that they were blinded to the truth. They refused to listen to anyone else because they affirmed each other's opinions. Their unity was their strength, it was them against the world.

It was different. And not in a good way.

He didn't like this friendship. In fact he almost resented it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The kind of friendship we see above is highly unpleasant to be in the midst of. True friendship, like true love wins the heart and acknowledgement of those around them. It allows them to bask in their friendship and take joy in their closeness. It puts a smile on your face.

In essence the friendship we see above is not a true friendship. We see loyalty for the sake of loyalty not correction where its necessary. This relationship would stifle personal development because it tempted both to stay within their comfort zone of each other and rendered them blind to truth. It encouraged unteachability since both affirmed the other's opinions and were grounded in their fantasy. And neither seeked to actively create or retain new and existing friendships. It mattered not who they alienated, as long as they had each other.

A true friendship would generate positive emotions in a bystander, not negative.

I have come across many friendships in my life. Close friends whose closeness becomes apparent instantly.

I have always loved to see such friends. It was a joy to be in the presence of people who knew each other so well, so completely and for so long. Beautiful to see a relationship that managed to weather the ravages of time. Amazing that in-spite of trying times, they would be there for each other no matter what the circumstances.

Being in the midst of such friends lit up a warm glow in me. I basked in their friendship and love and somehow it never felt exclusive but inclusive. The whole world was a testament to their great friendship but everyone felt welcome to be a part of it and witness its beauty.

These guys didn't spend every waking moment with each other. In social settings they weren't instantly drawn to each other. In fact the moments that I did see them together in public were few and rare. Neither were their conversations with acquaintances all about "the best friend".

Sure they weren't together all the time. But the few moments they were, the silent love and understanding conveyed was enough for the bystander to notice. The playful bickering and jokes were such that anyone could join in and not feel left out.

In-spite of how close they were they were not blinded. They didn't simply agree to each other's opinions. They were the worst critics of each other and constantly corrected and rectified when they felt their bestie's were in the wrong. A healthy friendship that enabled both friends to grow, mature and become much better people.

True friendship enables you to grow. It is not one of simply agreeing with the other and making you feel good all the time. It is one where you can honestly, truthfully point out the flaws in each other and maturely accept your own.

The kind of friendship that would not make others feel lonely but make others want to recreate the type of friendship you have.

The kind of friendship that would make people smile when they look at you and silently thank God in their hearts for the wonderful relationship.

I pray that every friendship mirrors these qualities.