Unconditional Love:

I was recently reading about the wonderful story of St. Francis and St. Clare - two individuals who loved each other so deeply that it was rare to find that kind of love even among married couples. While I was reading about their story I came across this beautiful incident that really touched me. Once while Francis and Clare were travelling together they came upon an inn, the innkeeper glanced at the two dressed up in religious clothing and muttered indignantly that it was scandalous that a man and women were using religion as an excuse to wander around together. On hearing this Francis was deeply disturbed and quiet as they continued travelling. He looked at Clare and said - "Do you know what people are saying about us?" Clare was stricken by his tone while Francis continued "You should go on towards your convent, I will go my own way". Clare asked desperately " When can we meet again?" Francis looked at the mountain which was covered in a thick layer of snow as they were in the depth of winter and said "When flowers bloom on this mountain we can meet again". Registering his meaning Clare heartbroken turned around and walked towards home. Suddenly the snow melted and thousands of flowers bloomed on the mountain. Clare joyfully gathered them and ran towards Francis. Francis gazed in wonderment and was satisfied. God had approved their friendship.

Isn't that just beautiful? Both Francis and Clare had such pure hearts and so much innocence when they met each other, but they were put down by what others perceived and muttered. However God who sees the heart knew that their hearts were pure and approved the friendship. No matter how wrongly accused we are we can take comfort in the fact that our Divine Creator knows all. We don't need to wage a battle to prove our innocence, He will fight for us and ensure that Justice is meted out. 

Another thing that struck me while reading this was the extent of St Clare's love. Francis even though he loved her deeply maintained tremendous reserve when he was with her. He was always worried and concerned about what others would think and kept her at distance. In fact he was sometimes so harsh that he was chided by his fellow brothers for being so strict with Clare. He rarely showed her how much he loved her. What I love about Clare is that she disregarded this, she never took offense, she never let pride get in the way. She loved him regardless, she wore her heart on her sleeve and displayed her affection openly. In fact anyone else in Clare's place would have taken offense easily, would be hurt and withdraw because of pride, they would withhold love if it was not being returned to the extent that it was given. But Clare loved unselfishly, openly and gave her love freely as a gift.

If we take offense easily in a relationship, that is pride. If we withhold love when its not being returned, it defeats the nature of love. Love is self denying, it is gift given regardless of the circumstances and cannot be taken back. It is a decision to love through good and bad, happy and sad. Just like there is no such thing as a tall, short man, there is no such thing as a selfish love. Both words contradict each other. Love cannot be hidden either. If its not expressed and the other person never ever knows, it is not love. Yes love hurts. As C.S Lewis once wisely said when we choose to love we make ourselves vulnerable. But the only place where we can be safe from the pangs of love besides heaven is hell. And as Mother Theresa once said if you keep loving there will come a point where there is no more hurt just love.

I wish I could love like Clare. My pride and hurt has destroyed many of my relationships and I have come to a realization that I have loved selfishly i.e. I have not loved at all. But the beautiful part of being human is that we can always pick ourselves and try again, its never too late. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. And every sinner can become a saint.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)