Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Monday, 9 March 2015

Paranoia:

Ten ‘o’ clock at night. I glance at the time and stuff my personal planner and the rest of my belongings into my handbag. My colleague looks up through piles of paper.

“Going already?” he asks.

“Yep” I reply “I want to leave before it gets too late”.

When I reach the door I remember that I parked quite far away. The area where I parked would be deserted at this time. I bite my lip hesitating before turning back and asking “Aren't you leaving yet?”

He waves me along impatiently; way too busy to even look up. I don’t want to betray my fear of walking into deserted parking lots. Don’t want to seem weak and I am loathe to ask him if he would walk me to my car. So I steady myself and saunter out into the darkness. The cool evening air assaults me as I hurry along.

I watch every car that passes by warily, if any car seems like they’re going to stop or slow down I quicken my steps. The parking lot is as empty as I feared. I feel vulnerable, an easy target in this vast piece of land. I spot a man checking his phone under the light of a street lamp. I walk slowly, quietly, hoping that he doesn't notice me till I get to my car. He looks up, straight at me. He makes to move towards me and I abandon all pretense, breaking into a run, unlocking my car from a distance. I throw the door open and climb in clumsily. The first thing I do is lock the door.

I look for the man. He’s getting into a car. I let loose a sigh of relief; my paranoia played tricks on me, he was just going to his car.

I drive out of the lot slowly, exiting the complex. The drive is monotonous, the roads are near empty and I slow down and wait at a junction. A white four wheeler pulls up next to me. I look sideways and see the driver glance towards my car. He smiles teasingly and starts making kissy faces through the window. Repulsed I look to the front and see the light turn green. I gun the accelerator and leave him behind in the dust. Now I’m on the lookout for other drivers as well.

I reach home and turn into the paid parking two blocks away. As I climb out of the car I see the pathway to the beach about 5 minutes away from where I stood. I have always loved the beach since I was a kid and I feel a sudden longing to go sit on the sand and listen to the waves. The beach always managed to calm me down. But I can’t, I am alone and it’s too dangerous. Not like I would be any safer with a male companion. That would just mean that I was an easy girl with no morals; after all what would a decent woman be doing in the beach at night with a boy? Angry thoughts bubble to the surface of my mind and I brush them away. Getting heated doesn't change my situation.

I reluctantly turn away from the beach and walk home. As I near my building I see three men sitting on the steps. They break into song when they see me and sing loudly, raucously. The fear on my face disappears under a mask of indifference. I don’t make eye contact; I don’t stop to tell them off, that would be seen as a challenge. I merely ball my fists tightly and walk with a bravado I do not feel. The song has lewd lyrics and makes my skin crawl. I can see them out of the corner of my eye, staring, taking in every inch of my body.

The watchman comes out when he sees me and shoos the trio away. As I disappear through the door, I can still hear them behind me, cat calling and laughing. What fun it must be to target a girl, to call her names, to stare at her rudely.

I unlock my door and slip in. For the first time since I left the office my paranoia ebbs away and I feel safe again. I collapse on my bed and lie there staring at the ceiling, replaying the events of the day. I wonder if its coincidence, providence or pure dumb luck that I am not yet another victim, not another Nirbhaya.

An ordinary day in the life of a woman.

Tomorrow I start all over again.

Monday, 5 January 2015

The light at the end of the tunnel:

“Never allow your fear of rejection overcome your faith in love.”

I had recently read this statement somewhere and it affected me very strongly on a personal level. Let me explain.

Growing up I was always highly cynical, suspicious and generally distrustful of people. It seemed like everyone had an ulterior motive, relationships were a transaction and even the strongest friendships could dissolve at the drop of a hat. My silent observation of the many relationships I saw around me only sought to reaffirm my beliefs. I had slowly started building up walls around myself based purely on what I had seen rather than experienced.

After a while I started experiencing such relationships. With dwindling faith I moved from one friendship to another seeking someone, anyone who could prove me wrong. But I was disappointed time and again. With every friendship that dissolved at the slightest sign of trouble, I laid another brick on the wall. Finally by mid July last year the walls I had been constructing for years reached completion. I couldn't bring myself to care for anyone else and other people’s affection for me could no longer penetrate. I was numb.

I sat alone in the towering fortress that I had built. I felt triumphant that I had been right all along, yet perversely miserable at my condition. This was not a battle I had wanted to win.

Now I had a certain unicorn in my life. A wonderful friend who was always so positive, all flowers and rainbows and exuberant happiness all the time. From the beginning I mistrusted her and her overwhelming affection for me. I wasn't sure why but I couldn't bring myself to believe that she actually cared. This was all a pretense, a facade, I convinced myself. The truth is I couldn't accept the love which I felt I didn't deserve.

This friend of mine tried several times over and over again. With time, my mistrust only grew. I was seeking the ulterior motive behind her actions. Surely she’ll get tired of keeping up this act I believed. But almost a year passed and she was still at it, still telling me that she cared and that she loved me. I have no idea what divine strength she possessed to keep going. I was by no means an easy opponent.

I don’t know how and why but one day it suddenly struck me. Out of the thousand stray arrows that just whizzed by, one hit bull’s-eye. Somehow she had found a crack in the fortress and the walls came crumbling down.

Sincere love will always be recognized. There was no spectacular event or revelation that struck me. Just one day I was suddenly convinced that this was no pretense, no facade, this was the real deal.

I truly believe that it was God and only God who let this happen. That thanks to this one beautiful friendship I was no longer numb and could start trusting in people again. If her perseverance could get through to me then why wouldn't mine get through other people? I started to have faith in love once more.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she ever allowed the fear of rejection to overcome her. If she had gotten sick of my indifference and given up. I would still be in that fortress, numb, unhappy and unable to love. And she would be a statistic. One of the many faces who had given up on me.

A lot of the unhappy people we see around us today are victims of circumstances. They've built up countless walls around them and maybe they turned out that way because there wasn't a single person around them to persistently try to be there, to tear down the walls of mistrust, who never gave up.

There is no such thing as an impenetrable wall. You see even the most pessimistic person wants to believe in love, they want to be proved wrong, they want to have hope.

You must allow your faith in love triumph over your fear of rejection. You must be the light at the end of the tunnel for someone trapped by the walls that they themselves built. You must keep fighting for and believing in the power of love. You must be for someone out there, hope.

And whenever you attempt to do the Master’s will, a power will be given to you to equal the duty.

P.S: This post is dedicated to the unicorn. I am always thankful for having you in my life. You are truly a blessing.