Don't come back:

He sat on the whitewashed bench surrounded by trees and gazed into the clearing. Not a single soul up and about, he was alone. He sat there bathed in moonlight, attuned to the sound of chirping crickets. The night air blew gently on his face as he tried to put words to the emotions that serenaded him. It had been so long since he experienced peace like this, golden peace, free from worries, so long since he had been happy, so gloriously happy.

“It’s been almost 2 months” he marveled, two months since the turmoil ended, and happy days were upon him, two months free from the agonizing pain of the soul, two months since he had ripped off his insecurities and finally started to accept himself for who he was.

Two months since he rediscovered how to love.

He felt empowered; emboldened by the knowledge of who he was, by the acceptance of self. He closed his eyes and breathed in the night air, reveling in the tranquility that was so palpable that he could almost taste it. An angelic smile graced his face, the first in many years that was inspired by true joy.

His phone vibrated on the bench disturbing the peace. He eyed his phone warily, the source of disruption.

A message from her.

He tensed while reading it and sighed in annoyance. As always she knew how to get on his nerves with her smugly superior statements. As he leaned forward to delete it, the memories he had been repressing surfaced once more in full force, he remembered the times he was reduced to the significance of a stranger- ignored and walked past like he never existed, the toxic friendship that had poisoned his trust, the tearing pain of being alone and her blank face that was always there to witness his failures but never his triumphs.

The ghosts of the past were upon him once more.

He gasped as a searing pain hit his chest, frantically he tried to stem the flow of memories that rushed forward, but it was unstoppable, he was seized by the torrent and he let it have their way. He rode the waves of emotion; limp as a puppet, the jarring sounds filled his ears, getting louder every instant. And just as suddenly as it came, it was gone. The noise faded, the pain receded and he was alone again.

He felt weak, small, insignificant and diminished in worth. Once more he felt like a child caught in wrongdoing, once more he tried to make himself invisible, unseen, he wished the earth would open up and swallow him.

“What is it about her?” he wondered “Why does she have so much power over me?”

He stared glumly at his lit up phone. The wounds were much deeper than he had realized, it would need much more time to heal.

It was foolish to forget the torments of the past. Folly to assume that years of pain would be erased by a few days of happiness. He was back to the start.

Two hearts separated by distance under the same night sky. One heart missing a friend.

The other hoping fervently that she would never return.